Tuesday, April 29, 2008

A Tale of a Confused Friend

She is beautiful and spent her whole life running from the very same being that will later come to seek her.  haha Her words during our schools days sounded to everyone like one who knew nothing.  But to me, it was a voice who knew some things but pretended for some reason not to know at all.  I believe it was to scare some away and attract people with intellect, that can clearly see what she was doing.  I thought at times that she listened to keen to the voice of the ones who introduced her to earth and I always prayed that one day she will think up a big decision all by herself.  That day I think is here, she is having to face reality of been a woman. 
 A lad has found her and wants to court her and ahhh it is different because she wants to be courted.  However a part of her refuses; this defines the shallow part of been human- our heart and mind does not agree.  He is older and has lived his life and is ready to settle, he had all his time to contemplate on things and is content with his and ready to make 1 + 1=1.  Sounds very familiar but I was as good as it gets and he wanted me badly, and despite the fear that he would leave, I knew he had no other option.  I was his price from God and I saw it from the very beginning.  
Anyways, she on the other hand, is younger, tender, she never thought that she will fall for a lad and so never contemplated it, so is unsure of what she wants.  She feels trapped; o well he seems like a nice man and one that would have been my ideal if I ever considered marriage (at least she thinks) but I just want to be sure.  However, if I continue to tell him this and he walks out of my life, who is to say that I have not made the biggest mistake of my life.  
Love is complicated and so no one is yet to define it accurately and no one ever will.  I say it is not a necessity to begin matrimony however, it will later be the pillar that will keep the union ongoing.  
My advice- don't waste your time on test questions because man failed the first test at the Garden of Eden and will continue to fail.  Always ask questions as if you wouldn't care either way or as if you already know the answer, that way he is comfortable enough to tell you of most but not all truths.  As human beings we always have a tendency of been to quick to judge especially if we have never done that act.  So never carry yourself as a perfectionist (esp. if you like the other) because it helps the person be at ease and not feel like they have to uplift themselves to please you.  
Have fun and share with each other your day to day experiences, past and future dreams.  Basically learn as much as you can.  If he/she is your first, it wouldn't hurt to talk to others that way you can pick and choose the best.  I ended all of my other friends within 4 months of talking to my now husband.  I knew I had to learn as much as I could about him, and I didn't have time to call the other man :)  
Don't believe everything that they tell you.  Think about yourself when you go for an interview on a job that you want really bad, there are things you leave out hoping they will not find out, hoping it is irrelevant and you don't feel like explaining it (doesn't even have to be bad).  What if someone asked you on the spot?  that's kinda how it is...he knows what he wants and he is sort of the interviewee, because he has to convince you.  
Eventually take a marriage course before you even plan the marriage.  it will help you both open your eyes to the issues of marriage and give you more to talk about.  The truth is one may be experienced when it comes to relationships or sex but both are clueless usually to issues of marriage or else one of you have been married before.  It is fun to learn it together.  I love my marriage and I want everyone to have the same...I pray for her every morning and night and for my family and friends in the same both, single and ready for marriage.  That they listen to God almighty and make the right decisions so that we can eat moi-moi and dance :)
Pray through it all and forever.  When you find that he is the one, begin some of your practices like saying your bedtime prayers together- for a family that prays together...
I wish you all the luck in the world and I am praying for you. 

No comments: