Saturday, December 19, 2009

Love Continued

No problem Ike!

I'm on call and might have to run anytime.  Thanks for the comments but I meant for you to read 1 Corinth 13:4 for the definition of love and then compare it to how you've always used it.  I agree that you are using it to mean an over-max of like, in fact it is the reason I wrote the post in the first place.  However, it confuses women and it makes women not respect your words because even if some may acknowledge it, we realise from that point that you exaggerate.  Take it from a woman, say I really really like you, or I like you over-max lol but not love until you understand and feel it.
I now agree with you on sentiments, you have corrected yourself well, it is a building block that is never to replace love.  'Love' is not a decision, it is a feeling (again ref. to above verse); it is a decision to try to love someone you like and it is a decision to say it.  For example, I screened my hubby's call for 3 months when we first met but later gave thought to his persistant character and from many phone conversations and bedtime prayers, we decided to work on trying to see if we can achieve love.  The truth is if you hang out with someone too long you will fall in love.  My husband didn't agree when i told him this until I told him this story I will share with you. 
I believe you do not go out to look for a woman who is on a wheelchair correct? well you are in your apartment and a nice gorgeous woman was using her motorized machine to ambulate into her home she waves to you, she invites you for dinner and cooks you a nice meal, you watch her prepare this meal and you're fascinated by how well she can do everything. She invites you occassionally for movie night and every time the house is always neat; she plays video games with you; and you guys can't stop laughing when you are together; you start noticing that you both enjoy doing similar things and even have the same sense of humor, you become fond of her and began to stop by when you can to catch a glimpse of her smile.  You see her leave each day for at least 8 hours and you asked one day were she goes, you learn from her that she is a mathematician and an accountant for this huge company in Olathe, KS.  You are even more impressed, with thoughts that she is beautiful and smart, and has a lovable personality and character.  I asked Jude do you then see yourself falling for her and he all of a sudden agreed. For I had described many of the characteristics that he was attracted to that he could almost relate to the story.  He added that before you know it you are arguing with your family about how they are wrong and you are in love and who cares what they think.  This woman is completely independent except she cannot walk.  My point is those 2 now know that they are great together but now they have to decide whether to try and love, maybe he needs to ask do you have sickle cell trait, can you get pregnant, do I care about what people think .... whatever is important to him or her. 
So when I say you have barely done nothing I mean it, there is nothing wrong with telling you that.  You will only realize this after you have given it more time.  You two are only starting and may not end up together.  Jude and I had those same thoughts but it was the drive to work harder at it, to be certain we gave it our best. I am sure eventually you and her will not be satisfied with just phone calls, the more you grow fond of each other, the more you both plan trips to be with each other.  Sometimes, me and Jude planned the next trip while the other was visiting.  You gotta work harder than calling her on the phone- time is very critical to develop love.  Trust me on this one, marriage is one decision that does not need to be made on clouded memory.
Stumble- is not harsh.  I stumbled in my husband's view the day I was dragged to leave my chemistry book and come to an igbo meeting.  You will know when to use love once you have learned what it means :)
The grace of God was with us from the very beginning, we started saying our night prayers together via phone, reading our bibles and it is still a tradition.  It is hard to go to bed without taking our turns and saying our nightime blessings, we started our family long before marriage.  And it is still the grace of God that keeps us going.
Ahhh good ole King Solomon....but there are many verses in the bible such as that, there are also many verses that ask us not to be careless with this beautiful gift from God- sex.  It needs to be with committment.  See God loves us so much that he selfishly claims our body as his; he wants us to make a convenant with him and that other one we have so chosen and only then does that body now belong to your wife and vice versa.  Read the other verses...  If a man wants to conquer the ship in the midst of the sea, the almighty is not against it, he is only asking that you respect his property and perform your marital rites and then you are permitted to do as you please.  One pastor once told me that he truly believes the bible mentioned that verse to protect women, he mentions that men are not as emotional with sex.  He recalled me his past when he would sleep with a woman and he would detach his soul to not connect with her so that he could throw her out the next morning.  When she would scream and cry, he didn't understand what the problem was because he made it clear to her that no strings attached.  A lot of women can do this too- in fact many of my girl friends can do this too- sex buddies they once explained it to me.  Hey they will tell you how great it was, they would probably describe their multiple climax, like King Solomon but it is what God wants us to feel with our partner blessed by God.
Another pastor once said to me- if only people can just take the words written in the bible just as it is, rather than interpreting them to suit their actions, if only they cannot be choosy and read the whole biblem, then maybe there will not be this much confusion that it is a great book that was well written.
I now know who you are- and my brother by no means, this is not meant to single you or any man for that matter.  My posts and comments are made based on personal and some visual experiences.  I do not think you in particular are this way, in fact I don't know you, hence I cannot define your character.  But if you are doing any of these things, then revisit your manner of approach.  Because if you are who I think you are, and if I were you, I would take the words from the one who sucked rich millk from the same breast as 'the lady' you are so fond of.  I can even guarantee it that if you both embrace your time, and both work 10x as hard as the past few weeks, eventually you will acrue more strands, more knots and a stronger rope; there is potential if both of you continue to work at it.  Historically, great things were not accomplished in a hurry, in fact those were the times in history we saw a big downfall and calamity.  Again Good luck to the two of you!

Gotta Run...
Remain blessed!
Nda Jude

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