Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Stupendous Pick Up Lines on Facebook/ blog break

A few months ago, Hubby temporarily changed his facebook profile picture to the one you are looking at and in a few days he receives a facebook message that he found very irritating and disrespectful. The message was from a Nigerian dude named... umm .... so that we do not embarrass the poor guy let's call him "Boo Boo The Fool" well anyways below is his message to my husband (exactly as written)-

baby u are 2 hot with u by me l will just work and come back home thats no more club if not with u for who have u should not look other girls out thier for u are ok toosexy baby,just add me lest complet it as soon as l am back home if u are single and wishes so just add me and lest go on enyway l am in ltaly.

In Boo Boo The Fool's defense, I thought he forgot to check out the name on the profile or maybe he didn't pay attention to the sex and though I tried to explain my theory to my husband he found it genuinely disrespectful.  
Hubby shared with me how he forgot that he changed his profile picture and thought that the guy was hitting on him at first.  And although he came to the realization that it wasn't the case, he was very irritated that Boo Boo The Fool tried to hit on his wife.  So of course I laughed it off thinking that was the end of it.  
Until another day, hubby tells me to go on his facebook to read a message that someone sent to me through him and after reading the message, I find this other hilarious message- it is a reply from hubby to Boo Boo The Fool:

You are very stupid to write this nonsense. Your bad writing has already explained your iiitracy. You should be ashamed for talking to somebody's wife'. Since you did not go to school and you could not read, check the names and identify who is male or female.

And normally I would be flattered by Boo Boo The Fool's message but not this time. Partly because it seemed like Boo Boo The Fool dropped out of That School For Stupendous Pick Up Lines and not only that he sounded like he could use 2 or more classes in English writing as hubby pointed out in his message.   

But seriously guys and ladies who some how find themselves writing silly lines to people on facebook just stop it!  

On another note, I'm taking a blog break- I need to get on study mode since I plan to sit for my Family Medicine Boards in a few weeks plus I also need to get serious about job haunting :( I'll see you guys soon- miss you guys already.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Busy Body (BB)

For the purpose of this post I will call this good Samaritan- Mrs. BB.  Mrs BB came to welcome me as she somehow found out that I am originally from Nigeria and since she is from the same continent she wanted to welcome me.  I was very surprised and happy until she wouldn't stop talking and wanted to dive right into my private life.  Here are a few of her comments- "Ok! you just joined your husband?- good!" "Thank God your daughter looks like the father"- "It is time for the next baby? you know you are not getting younger"  I couldn't even respond to many of her comments/questions because she is very good at what I call sentence vomit.
It baffles me how some find it difficult to focus on just their life alone- you know the one that God gave them.  They almost seem to enjoy making unnecessary suggestions.  I wanted to respond to so many of her comments... Like what do you mean thank God she looks like her father! Can I completely enjoy this child before you pressure me to drop the next one or can I enjoy my husband a little before you arrive with your annoying comments. 
What was interesting was I thought I was the only one that found her annoying and promised myself that I will give her a chance before I draw my final conclusions especially since I am yet to make friends here.  So I went to this African Hair Braiding Salon and a group of women started talking about a "lady" and how annoying she can be with her suggestions and how she oversteps her boundaries.  One woman shared how "this Lady" suggested that her 5 year old daughter could get into better Universities in the future if she was in a gifted school.  And another woman mentioned how "the lady" told her that maybe she should sign her daughter for music lessons so that her daughter wouldn't suck at dancing ... I was quiet the whole time because 1) I love talks at salon especially African salons- since my hair takes forever I really seek out salons that have great gist :) 2) I thought it was hilarious at first to hear how angry these women were with "this lady" but then it went on and on and then the owner of the salon mentioned how annoying it was that when she tried to mention to "this Lady" of her bad habits and how it is starting to get to her customers.  "This lady" started shouting "which customers! what are their names!"and then the lady threatened to go elsewhere to get her hair braided and even mentioned that she will drag her friends with her.  The other women in the store chorused "leave her-let her go! which friends!"  I wanted to bust out laughing but they were very serious. 
And at that very moment a thought came to me that since I am new in town I really ought to know who "this lady" is so that I can avoid her, and to my utmost surprise she was Mrs BB.  How have you guys dealt with the busy bodies?

Gear Military Mode and The End of Our 3 years of Separation

We weren't really maritally separated for 3 years, we just lived apart.  I was just in one state (KS) for residency, while daddy was in another state (Fl) were he was based in the military.
So we (baby and I) finally made the move to Florida.  We are now in one house with daddy- thank God.  As some of you may know, I completed residency some months ago but we were waiting to accompany daddy on the long drive to Florida.  Why de heck didn't I fly? well na love do me oh ...
We were lucky enough to qualify for the military move- which they normally move everything except the car(s) (if the move is within the US).  So since the drive was 22 hours, I was afraid hubby may fall asleep if he didn't have us with him.  I was discouraged by many because of the baby but I didn't listen since hubby assured me that we will make stops as frequent as baby and I would need.
Well ... when we got in the car hubby got on "gear military mode" that means he only sees the finish line and does not hear either me or anyone for that matter.  I had to speak in many different languages (including joining my daughter to screame aaahhhhhh) to get him to stop to feed the baby or change her.  My legs were so tired, I started to tell my daughter be prepared this will be a very long drive but I think God gave us a girl so that me and you together will break daddy off this military crap.
One time he dozed off and lost control of the car for a millisecond but it felt like eternity with me screaming "Jesus help us! Jesus help us!" and can you imagine that after he gained control he went on back to "gear military mode." Haba! I screamed we have to stop, I can drive if it is that important to you that we get home- To no avail but he agreed to stop for coffee.  So I quickly called my mom and I told her that she should call my husband's phone and randomly encourage him to stop and told her off the divine intervention that saved our lives.
I turned off my phone so when she called hubby's phone
hubby- (asks me) is your phone on?
me- it is turned off because I am charging it (and he suggested that maybe my mom was trying to reach me, so I gave the excuse that I was nursing so that he would take the call.
My mom on speaker:
mom- Papa Mma kedu (how r u), I tried to reach Nenyenwa and it appears that her phone is turned off
hubby- oh ok, hope all is well?
Mom- yes all is well, how is the trip so far
hubby- great!
Mom- ok hope you guys are making frequent stops, because at times you may feel tired and before you know it you may doze off ... there is no race to get here it is better to get your family home safe than to rush ...
Hubby- I don't think that will happen, we are doing ok
Me (screaming from the back seat with the baby) ahh mummy it is not true oh! this just happened right this very minute ....
Jude finally rounds up with my mom and says to me wow! we should probably stop, this is like a divine intervention that your mom called right when after it happened may be God sent her to call us and warn us. God did send her in a way but through me, and I didn't think there was any need to share what actually happened especially since baby and I got to stretch our legs while daddy took a nap.
We arrived safe, and spent this past 2 weeks putting the house in order and getting baby's room cozy and warm for her.  Anyways, we haven't spent much time together so this morning when I got up with him to help him get ready for his first day back at work on a new ship.  I had a moment ... I realized that our 3 year time apart was finally over.  He asked me what I was thinking and when I told him, he said "I don't know about you but I was so happy when I drove you guys home from Kansas, I was so afraid that my stubbornness almost cost me my family- normally I will be calling you on my way off to work but now I get to kiss my family good bye knowing that they will be here waiting on my return."  We forgave daddy a long time ago, actually after we got to stretch our legs- he is lucky to have easy going girls.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Birth Control

I was asked to do a post on birth control and also highlight what I use (thanks for reading my blog). I will mention that my intention is not to promote any specific birth control method.
Though we commonly use the term "birth control" to mean oral contraceptives, it includes several other techniques and methods used to prevent fertilization or pregnancy interruption at its various stages.
Main point think about it before sexual intercourse, and if you are already pregnant talk to your partner about it at the end of your second trimester and discuss your decisions with your doctor.
Contraception methods that prevent fertilization includes barrier methods such as condoms or diaphragms, hormonal contraception (aka oral contraceptives), the patch, and injection contraceptives (such as depo provera). Contragestion methods include post sex birth control (i.e. preventing implantation of blastocyst) that includes IUD and emergency contraception aka morning after pill.  Then there are behavioral methods, which is controlling when/if the sperm meets the egg and that includes fertility awareness, coitus interruptus aka withdrawal, to some extent Lactational Amenorrhea Method, and having sex but avoiding semen near the vagina since semen can travel along vaginal lubricating fluid.  There is also total abstinence which is total sexual abstinence but some have revised this in some way or another that it works for them.  Then there is surgical sterilization (i.e. tubal ligation for women and vasectomy for men) And finally, there is abortion and that is the removal or expulsion of fetus or embryo from the uterus.
Many people decide on birth control based on the effectiveness and its compatibility to their lifestyle.  For example, oral contraceptives is a hormone pill that is taken at about the same time everyday (esp. to achieve success); the patch also releases hormone like oral contraceptives but it sticks on your skin and is placed once a week, another is nuva ring also the same mechanism but it is a transparent, flexible ring that goes in the vagina once a month.
Condoms- is placed correctly on the male penis ad used every time you have intercourse, this also helps protect against STIs but not genital wart. Depo- is an injection administered every 3 months; Implenon- is a small implant that goes under the skin and lasts for 3 years; Merena- intra-uterine device that lasts for 5 years and so on.
Birth Control effectiveness is measured usually by how many women achieved pregnancy while using any one of the above mentioned methods during the first year of use except for surgical sterilization, which I believe is usually measured in lifetime failure rate after a negative semen analysis.  You really do have to do the research in order to decide what works best for you, and you have to give each birth control about 3 months to decide how it works for you.  That been said, the overall consensus is that the best in terms of effectiveness does depend on regular user action (s).  By that I mean that if there is less work for the user it has been shown to be more effective overall.
Although surgical sterilization is reversible, the goal should please be with the intent of never having to reverse.  I understand however that things change but you should never jump into this decision if there is even the slightest doubt in your mind that you may change your mind, place a mirena instead to buy yourself some time to think.  Usually the reversal procedure is not cheap, not guaranteed and it is done by reconnecting the fallopian tube in women and vasa deferentia in men.  Its effectiveness totally depends on the original procedure, how much damage was done and the patient's age.
So here is the effectiveness summary:  if you decide on surgical sterilization, Depo provera, implant, IUDs you have a failure rate of less than 1% (again since they require little to nothing from the user- well except for depo since you have to physically go get your shots every 3 months to the tee- can't skip days otherwise you've got to follow the essential waiting period).
Then hormonal contraception, oral, patch or ring, fertile awareness methods, lactational amenorrhea method if used perfectly also have less than 1% failure rate but can be as high as 5-25% if used incorrectly bu user.  Condoms have a failure rate of 14% and if used perfectly 3% and cervical barriers have a failure rate of about 20%. Withdrawal if used consistently and correctly (that means men who claim to be pros) have a 4% failure rate.  If you combine withdrawal with something else you can improve the failure rate to 2%.
One important thing to note is that the world worries so much about preventing pregnancy and many times forget about preventing Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs). With pregnancy you have options but there are existing STIs that are not curable.  Seriously, there is no harm in you and your partners getting tested for HIV, Hep C, syphilis and so on; there is also no harm in using condoms every time; keep in mind also that if condoms break you not only have to worry about achieving pregnancy but also all the many STIs you may have contracted.  Sorry guys you also cannot screen by looking at people, or getting to know them or trusting they will tell you because many don't even know they are infected.
For me, I practiced total abstinence until I met my husband.  Before our marriage I schooled myself on birth control options and decided that my best would be fertility awareness, specifically Billings Ovulation Method.  In summary this involves monitoring and charting your cervical mucus and its consistency.  God made us to always have a form of discharge and it has to be of a certain characteristics for the sperm to get to its destination.  For example, when a female has a dry discharge it is difficult for a sperm to get to its destination. (Learn more about it) I chose this because I felt like I didn't know anything about my fertility partly because when I was 14 some doctor recommended to my mom that I go on birth control since my period was very minimal.  Though I stopped it myself when I was 18 since I refused to pay for it myself, I was too busy to care enough about my fertility.   However, my experience with oral contraceptive was that it helped my acne; I didn't notice a difference with weight gain- since I was trying to loose weight at the time and accomplished it; it helped a ton with period cramps-winner for me; I did see my period every month and at that age I wasn't really happy about it :(; for me it didn't matter whether I took it at the same time everyday or if I missed because my goal was not to prevent pregnancy and I didn't see why anyone cared if I had a period monthly.
Anyways, before my marriage I studied and learned my cycle using the Billings Ovulation Method http://www.woomb.org/bom/lit/teach/index.html it was a great option for hubby and I since it included him as well.  He could look at the calender himself and know that we could do anything other than sexual intercourse on those marked fertile days.  I really believe it can help in bringing couples together especially on days that you are forced to be creative (fertile periods) and also you don't feel rejected because you have previously discussed that you want or don't want to be pregnant.  It was also a great tool for when I tried to achieve pregnancy (since hubby lived in another state and left on military assignments for at least half of the year.  It helped though that I knew the exact day we got pregnant and matched the ultrasound to the day- it helped for later decisions when it came close to the birth of my daughter.  It helped me learn a lot about my fertility and about fertility in general.
Now I don't have to chart because I know and understand my fertility very well.  It is free but does require some back to school elementary knowledge of the female reproductive system. After the birth of our baby girl I still feel very confident in the Billings Ovulation Method and hence still use it, its failure rate is also less than 1% if used accurately.  Also although not for the intention of birth control I solely breastfeed my daughter and hence I also use the Lactational Amenorrhea Method- I do not plan to substitute with anything else until she is 6 months old.
I hope this helped, good luck with your decision.  Please feel free to add to what influenced your decisions on choosing a contraceptive that worked for you.