Monday, February 4, 2013

Keeping It All Together

I am open to ideas to keeping it all together.  Lately I feel like I am always trying to get it together.  I am expecting baby #2 in like a few months and my house does not even look like there is much anticipation.  Yep! there is still a baby who is pretty much attached to her crib, still wears diapers hence she still uses the diaper hamper ...Basically, our nursery is occupied by a baby who has the right to still be there lol. I remembered this time when I was pregnant with my baby girl I was doing laundry and putting them away in the nursery.

We have no idea if hubby will be here or not; since he received orders to be posted to the Islands and wee! I can't help thinking what if they don't find him anywhere close to home what will I do with two children all by myself.  I have been single lately with his multiple short sea trips for week long sometimes arghhhhh!!!!! (allow me to scream)The crazy thing is my daughter looks at me like mama has all the answers but little does she know I am screaming inside.

Oh yeah just like baby girl, we chose to make this baby's sex a surprise and way before mid second trimester the last pregnancy, I had landed a guy and girls name- don't even ask me what this baby's name will be because I sure enough don't know.  Sometimes my husband catches me reassuring him or her not to worry, that mama will have it all together by his/her arrival and if I don't we will wing it.
Yesterday, we had to install the baby's car seat and so Mmeso has to be faced forward (tear drop); (I highly recommend that you wait till 2 years old but in our case Mmeso will not be quite 2 before the little lad or lady shows up) she did ok during our ride this morning but we could tell she was a little dazed by why all of these little changes; little does she know that many more changes are about to take place. 

Work has been very stressful but I am doing my best to overcome the challenges as well as balance time with hubby and baby girl.  Something to look forward to, we plan to just halt our lives next week and disappear for a mini vacay/ honey moon and believe it or not it is going to happen.  We are both not sure if we will sleep throught the vacation or if we will drag ourselves out of bed and explore. 

I must confess I have all mixed feelings about the next few months; feelings of excitement mostly but anxiety since I have no control and mostly how Baby girl will turn out.  I have to admit I also feel a little guilt that I am not as prepared for our little surprise as I was with baby girl but all the same I am excited.  Baby girl- lately she gets so jealous when I hold or touch another baby, or pay attention to them or even hold on to her papa.  I am not sure if she will react this way whith the newborn but what I do know is that, she is aware that something is about to happen but isn't old enough to comprehend that a baby is coming and will change our lives forever.  Sometimes I do wonder out loud what de heck were we thinking!