Friday, April 25, 2014

Life Lessons

I believe that experience is the best teacher and so I often credit to those who can definitely educate me more in a certain area.  In the same token, it annoys me when some claim to know things that you can tell they have no clue about or simply claim to know it all.
I feel that those people are actually the failures and they feel like if they are loud about how much they know some of their audience (usually those who lack little or no knowledge in that topic) will praise them on how highly intelligent they seem.
Overall I feel like being open to learning from anyone young or old or to whatever caliber of life etc i think have made me more knowledgeable in many areas. And I still don't come close to having all of the answers.

I also feel that it takes humility to credit knowledge and respect where it is deserved.  But I take it all in and make sense of it first before accepting and tesching someone else not all information is true and just because it has been around for many years doesn't make it true. It makes it more like a myth. :)
Knowledge have to make sense to me for me to embrace it. For example, My sister and I were laughing about some of the things she has heard lately. My sister is a new mom (yay! To big sis and it suits her well), my niece was born on April fools day and what a blessing and congrats to my family and my in-laws.
So (back to my sisters chat) some of these 'things' I have heard before but now having someone to share them with creates for some good laughs. So my sister was going to help me plait my hair so that I can try on my wig and my mom told her she couldn't because my hair would fall out. Interesting right?... so we asked do you mean mine or the one who just offloaded the baby. But my mom and grandma echoed no it is the one whose hair is been braided by the new mom.
My sister and I joked about what scientific evidence/ grade it level A, B, C .... lol I recalled how I was not allowed to eat certain foods and how only soups and yams were most important or bread and tea. I never heard of pregnancy foods until after my first daughter.  I was also informed that everything that I learned from the lactation nurse was a lie and reminded that my grandma had raised 13 children. Jokes aside I credit her for that 13 children by the way because it is not easy raising all those children...mothers go through a lot and My grandmother together with my late grandmother embodies the strength and hardwork which are the biggest characteristics the women in my family carry and she was and still is a great mother. But God bless her heart I am educated and find that some of her beliefs are very old and does not work for me. I actually listened to the lactation nurse and my own research to my grandma's surprise baby girl never used formula...she breastfed till about 14 months.
I recalled her telling me that my daughter is scared because I did not let her throw her up in the air while giving her baths as an infant. I told her grandma it is called the Moro reflex and is normal in an infant.  She hissed and told me the white men always had to have an answer for everything (isnt that the quest for knowledge?) And in fact throwing them in the air is actually frowned upon so as to avoid blood shed in the brain. My grandma also wanted lots of wrappers in my daughter's crib to keep baby cozy but she felt frustrated to hear me say it is also frowned upon to avoid Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.  It was hard for me to disregard the things that i have learned when some have been associated with harm to the infant and it was hard for her to disregard those things she had proven from raising 13 children.  So what did i do watch with one eye open and undo everything she did and pulled out the yellow and red card that said i am the mama please and i am unsomfortable with this one.
However, It was easier for my mom because she was open to learn the new ways mom said back then they just passed it down and no one asked questions because simply what do you know. She tells me that it makes sense to her but she can understand how someone as old as my grandmother would simply find me annoying. I also understand that and would often allow things that I know isn't harmful so that my children can experience the culture. It is interesting though however and some of the things you can't help but laugh. What cultural practices did you hear about?

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Happy Birthday

Our Dear Son,

In a few days you will be one and I have sat up all night preparing the dishes that we will serve at your party.
I also had some time to think about how time had gone by. I remember your pregnancy, you really showed me how strong I can be. You came 10 pounds 3 ounces 22.75 inches long 3weeks earlier than your due date and though you were not an easy delivery, you were my easiest. I remember laboring with you at home with your papa giving me back massages and helping me breathe- we felt connected with you; I remembered saying (as the contractions got stronger )that I guess this is it. I wasn't going to miss your kicks :) When I got to the hospital I was 8.5 cm, we did great.  You finally came out vaginally with some minor complications and so had to go to the step down unit from the NICU. I was exhausted and wondered how you got so big I had exercised all through my pregnancy- your pap was very supportive.
I remembered the first time I held you, you looked just like your sister, I recalled the first time I heard that cry and i knew it was you. We bonded right away and still are.
You have grown so much and started taking more steps. I was afraid that you will bond with me less since I had to go back to work early but that has not being the case. 
You are so smart and can understand both languages, and sometimes even your sisters combo of all three. You and your sister sometimes may bicker but you love your sister so much. I love that you call your papa 'Nna' sometimes. Your papa loves it too.
You love to play and laugh and you have such an infectious laugh that it is saved as my phone's ringtone and my alarm sound.
You have a lot of teeth and love food sheesh! You love food. You steal you sisters food all the time.
You made me a mother of two and I am still learning to balance since your sister still is attached to mama as well. And plus your Nna loves his wife too.
I love teaching you and your sister especially about God. I love how you recognize the tone of importance in my voice and look at me, very serious as if you are soaking it all in.
I fear of the struggles you may encouter growing up as a young black man but I pray for you everyday and ask God to help me raise a calm, responsible, God-fearing young man.
You are stubborn and even lazy atimes and will cry atimes when you don't get your way but your mama is tough isn't she?
I bless you my boy and I thank God for you everyday. You will always touch, feel and breathe success. You will be hardworking, caring and a man of integrity. You will be sensitive and be a great impact to those you encounter. We all love you especially big sissy who showers you with lots of kisses. Happy first birthday! From Mama, Papa, Sis. Mmeso